The Big Ask

Twice in the past two weeks I’ve had to reach out to people I haven’t spoken to in months to ask for the numbers of people I haven’t spoken to in years… to ask for help. These were big asks. The kinds that make you a little nauseous, expose your frailties and simultaneously require all of your strength and courage to just dial the phone. “How’ve you been for the last 10 years? Great, I need your help.” No pausing, or I may get derailed from my ask.

It helps me to write this while I wait for a call back from my latest big ask. I stay afloat searching for the right words, rather than sink into a sea of self-judgement. It keeps me away from phrases like “only me” and “should have.” It helps to remind myself that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. I believe it softens us to the world and exposes our shared humanity. By me in my asking and you in your helping, we both get to save me. And maybe then we save each other. What a relief it is that that we don’t have to go through this life alone.

Ask for help when you need it. Accept help when you are offered it. Give help when you can.